READ TO THE BOTTOM TO ENTER A GIVEAWAY FOR AN INTO THE FIRE BLANKET & COMPLETE SIGNED SET OF THE BRIDGE SERIES!
Everything felt possible today. Couples and friends scattered lazily across the park as the first beams of summer sun warmed my skin. The air smelled like fresh cut grass and the good eats cooking on stands nearby. Several feet away, Amelia played on the park lawn with her cousins while my mom laughed and scrambled to keep all three toddlers entertained in one spot.
Will sat beside me, his dark blond hair glistening golden under the bright sun, his arms resting on his knees as he scrolled through email messages on his phone. It was Saturday, but he rarely turned off from work. Ian lay at the other end of the blanket, feet crossed at the ankle, one arm behind his head and the other holding a book above his face. Even at rest, he appeared larger than life, the epitome of gentle strength.
More than three years had passed since Will came into my life and turned everything upside down. The days, weeks, and months of routine and daily life since had done nothing to dull the fierce attraction I had for the two men in my life. I was still smitten. Still totally in love. And I was confident both could look perfectly sexy doing any mundane thing.
I sighed and looked up at the cloudless sky, so grateful for the unexpected turns my life had taken. I was a lucky girl. No doubt about it. But, like Will, I couldn’t quite stop myself from striving for more. At times, I felt like I’d been born to reach for perfection, even as I’d learned to redefine the word around the unconventional lifestyle I’d chosen. The time to take the next step was now. I could feel it.
“I want another baby,” I said finally, my voice steady despite the heat creeping into my cheeks.
Both men turned their gazes toward me. I’d been waiting to voice the wish for weeks, maybe months now. I had to be absolutely sure, because anything this significant could threaten to tilt the delicate balance of our relationship.
The intensity of Ian’s gray-eyed stare seemed to shatter the silence, but Will spoke first.
“Where is this coming from all of a sudden?”
I shrugged, though nothing was casual about my desire to expand our family. It was a decision I’d already made, and I was determined to get what I wanted. “Amelia needs a sibling.”
Ian looked toward the three little cherubs currently wreaking havoc on my mother’s delicate nerves. “She has plenty of company.”
True enough. Ava, Vanessa and Darren’s daughter, had arrived less than a month after Amelia was born. She was an auburn-haired terror—the yin to my thoughtful Amelia’s yang—and I absolutely adored her. Aidan, Cameron and Maya’s son, was almost a year older, and already I could see my attentive big brother in him. They all saw each other several times a week and were thick as thieves even at this young age.
Still, adoring my niece and nephew wasn’t the same. I wanted Amelia to have a brother or sister.
More, I wanted Ian’s baby.
He hadn’t voiced the desire for that since learning of my unexpected pregnancy with Will.
I wish it were me, Liv. I wish I’d been the selfish one.
His heartbreaking confession had come in the heat of the moment, born in the throes of his jealousy and anger toward Will, and hadn’t been uttered again since. But deep down, I believed he wanted a child with me too.
“I. Want. Another. Baby.” I said each word slowly and clearly, leaving no doubt of my intentions.
Will cleared his throat and let his phone drop to the blanket. “You’ll get no argument from me. But I’m guessing this is something you two need to work out.”
Ian’s gaze flickered toward Will and back to me again. “Is that what you really want, Liv?”
I held his steady stare. “I’ve thought about it for a long time. I have a feeling we all have. And the answer is yes, this is what I really want. I was hoping to stop taking my pills next month and we could start trying.”
Ian pulled himself into a sitting position that mirrored Will’s. “You’re serious.”
“I’m dead serious. If I’m not knocked up before the summer’s over, I’ll be disappointed.”
Will pulled his lips into a wry smile, but Ian didn’t look any more at ease.
“And…so…” A frown marred his dark brows as he struggled with his words.
I exhaled a frustrated breath. “Damnit.” I covered Will’s hand with mine and gave it a small squeeze, a gesture of my unwavering commitment to both men. “Listen to me. I want your baby, Ian. Our family isn’t complete yet. I think you know that as well as I do.”
Ian pushed to his feet and paced a few wordless meandering rounds between us and the kids.
Will did a poor job of masking a smirk. “I’m going to give your Mom a hand while you two talk. I’ll be back.” He kissed my hand before rising to leave.
Ian paced back within earshot.
“Can you stop pacing and come talk to me?”
With a loud sigh, he returned to the blanket, settling close beside me. “Sorry. This whole conversation is throwing me off. I wasn’t expecting this to come up, now…or ever maybe. I had no idea you’d ever want this.”
“We both know I wasn’t ready for Amelia. I know what uncertainty feels like. And I know what my heart wants now. It wants a piece of us—you and me—in our family.”
His throat worked over a swallow as he looked down at his hands. “Okay. So what do we do? If you get off the pill, Will’s going to bitch and moan about having to use protection.”
“He’ll get over it. And I have a better idea anyway.”
He lifted his gaze to mine, hope and love seeming to have relaxed his gorgeous features.
“Let’s take a trip,” I whispered, brushing a fingertip along his strong jaw. “Just you and me. Will and my mom can take care of Amelia, and we can…” I smiled and bit the edge of my lip. “Well, maybe we can make a baby.”
The bellhop wheeled our bags into the sitting area of our seaside suite as I gazed out into the turquoise Caribbean waters beyond. In that moment, I had to question whether I was more excited about bringing Liv to the island that had always held a piece of my heart, or knowing that this trip was meant to change the course of our relationship forever.
The young man spoke, tearing me from my thoughts. I turned and tipped him. The second the door shut, Liv was there—arms around me, tongue flickering along my neck, pressing her delicious body everywhere I wanted her. My body responded instantly, the way it had for years. Everything about the woman drove me wild, and the greedy way she grabbed at me was no exception.
I held her tightly, answering her eagerness with a slow deep kiss and a purely indecent journey up the back of her thigh to her ass. I gave it a squeeze and simultaneously pressed her against my groin with a moan.
Mentally, I mapped our journey from the entryway to the bed. From clothed to naked, and two people to one, joined and lost in our pleasure. But another thought swallowed the fantasy I’d lived countless times. The thought of what that union meant…what we were here for.
Defying every physical instinct, I disconnected our bodies. Liv mewled in displeasure and tried to push us back together again. But the part of me that was driven to meet her every need couldn’t compete against the anxiety that was tearing through my desire.
Keeping her hand in mine, I took another step back. “Come on, baby. Let’s grab something to eat and go for a swim.”
She sighed, a sweet sound that almost shook my resolve. “Fine. But after lunch, I demand that you ravage me.”
I laughed, hoping she couldn’t sense my unease. “I think I can manage that.” Before she did anything else to test my willpower, I led her toward the door.
We had lunch at a little shack by the beach that served delicious authentic Dominican food. I ordered for her, having a sense of her tastes and tolerance for culinary adventure. We talked about the summers I used to spend not far from our beachside oasis. Nostalgia for that time in my life quickly took hold of me. Memories of my father with my siblings and me, his broken Spanish beside my mother, at home in the country of her family. I missed him, no less than I did the day cancer took him from my life forever.
Liv and I drank a few beers each as the waves crashed in like the memories, until I was equal parts relaxed and energized. We walked the beach, and Liv became an instant target for merchants. She eyed every piece of jewelry, considered at least a dozen sarongs before deciding on a vibrant blue one that I favored because it matched her eyes. Finally we ran into a young boy selling limoncello on the beach. I didn’t care what he charged. I paid him for a handful of the sweet green fruits.
Liv plucked one from my hand. “Let’s see if they taste better here than they do in New York.”
I smirked. “They import them from the Dominican, so I’m pretty sure they taste the same, Liv.”
She peeled back the skin of one and popped it into her mouth. “Nah. I think the beach and tropical heat must make them taste a tiny bit better here.”
I tasted one of my own and contemplated. “They’re pretty good, I have to admit.”
Silence fell as the sun met the pastel horizon. We’d had plenty of quiet time between us, but this one felt heavier with all the things I didn’t know how to say to her.
I nodded and shot her a smile. “Yeah, baby. Just tired from the flight. Do you want to head back?”
She bit her lip and her eyes glittered with a bit of mischief. I knew that look. It probably had lingerie or something kinky attached to it. I should have been sprinting back to the room to explore it further, but instead we took our time, walking hand in hand as the sky grew dark.
By the time we got back to the suite, the long day of travel was heavy on me. That’s what I told myself when I joined Liv for a hot shower, an opportunity she quickly tried turning into more.
“Ian, please… I need you,” she whimpered, sliding her soapy body along the planes of mine.
I kissed her softly. “I’m exhausted, baby. We’ve got all week.”
I hissed when she circled her fingers around my stiff cock, stroking from the base to the sensitive tip.
“Doesn’t feel like you’re exhausted.”
Fuck, she wasn’t giving me a lot of room to overthink things. My body’s reactions couldn’t lie. Only thing I could do was distract her until I got my head straight. I grabbed her wrists, disconnecting her from my aching erection, and pinned them firmly above her head.
“Oh.” Her eyelids lowered to half-mast.
Something about that little show of control did things to her. Will had it mastered. I dabbled with restraints when the mood struck. Right now I just needed to take the edge off and buy myself a little time.
Taking advantage of her powerless position, I kneed her legs apart. A quick exploring touch and my fingertips were coated in her arousal. I tightened my grip on her wrists and slipped inside her pussy at the same time.
She cried out, bowing her torso off the shower wall. Her long dark hair fell slick against her skin, framing her gorgeous tits. I grit my teeth, ignoring the fiery need clawing at me from the inside out. Instead I tried like hell to focus on Liv’s pleasure and maximizing it as quickly as I could. I pumped into her, massaging her clit with the heel of my hand until she was breathless and writhing against my touch.
“Ian, I need you inside me.”
I sucked her nipples, feeling her clench as I nipped at the sensitive tips. “I am inside you, baby.”
Her groan was pure frustration. “Your cock. I need your—”
I took her mouth in a savage kiss and pumped faster, massaged harder, until she could no longer form words. Screaming against my lips, she came long and hard. The velvet ripples of her inner walls crushed down on my penetrating fingers. God, how I wanted to bury my cock inside that little heaven. She whimpered through the little tremors that wracked her delicate frame. She was so beautiful in that moment. So perfect. Mine to take… Mine to claim.
Stop overthinking everything and give her what she wants.
My lust-addled brain fought for control, but it was too late. I told myself she was satisfied and we had plenty of time…
I eased out of her, turned the shower off, and toweled her dry. We collapsed into bed and I wrapped my arms around her, holding her as her breathing evened out with sleep. The soft sounds of the waves crashing onto the beach filled the room. As the minutes passed, I let the fatigue win and gave my anxiety another chance to turn into something else.
* * *
I woke before the sun rose, careful not to rouse Liv as she slumbered. I took a long run along the beach, needing to feel my muscles burn. I ended the jaunt with a swim in the ocean, but even that couldn’t cure my racing thoughts.
I returned in time for breakfast to be delivered. Liv opened the bedroom door just as I reached for it to wake her.
She met my smile with a tired wince.
“Morning, beautiful. Are you hungry? I had breakfast delivered. Eggs, fruit, pancakes. Whatever you feel like.”
She cinched a blue silk robe around her waist, walked toward the table, and dropped into a chair. She eyed the spread for a few wordless moments before spooning a small portion of fruit onto her plate.
She only nodded. I filled her cup and poured in a little cream, just the way she liked it. Still she didn’t speak. Parenthood had made all of us morning people by circumstance, but even Liv wasn’t typically this quiet.
“I went for a run this morning. The sunrise was really pretty. We should try to catch it some morning,” I said, hoping to make conversation.
She shoved half a strawberry in her mouth. Still no words, and I was growing more uneasy with her silence with every passing second.
“I made reservations at the fine dining restaurant for dinner. They cook the lobsters that come right off the boat at dusk.”
She dropped her fork and leveled a glare at me.
“What’s wrong, Liv?”
“I didn’t come here to eat fresh lobster. I didn’t come here to marvel at the sunset. Those things are great, but I came here to be with you. This trip was about us.”
I leaned back in my chair with a tense sigh. “Baby, I’m right here.”
“No, you’re not. You’re somewhere else. Last night you wouldn’t even make love to me, and this morning I wake up to an empty bed. I thought this trip was going to be special for us.”
“We were together last night,” I argued.
“That is not how you make a baby. I’m guessing you know that since we haven’t had sex since we got here.”
“We’ve been here less than twenty-four hours. I was wiped out and figured you would be too.”
She rose sharply from the table and shoved a finger toward me. “Bullshit. You come home from back-to-back shifts all the time and still want to be with me. You’ve never shot me down like this. It’s more than you being tired, and you know it.”
Tears glistened in her eyes, and my heart twisted painfully in my chest.
“Liv, I’m sorry. Don’t cry.”
But she was gone, hidden behind a slammed door, before I could explain any of the mess in my head. I thought about going to her right away, but knowing Liv’s temper, I decided to let her calm down and give myself a chance to collect my thoughts before chasing after her.
How was I fucking this up so badly? We’d never had anything like this before, a break from real life pressures to simply be together. She’d been perfect and energized and ready to dive into this week. And she was right. I’d been somewhere else. On a hamster wheel of doubts waiting for her to change her mind about wanting a baby with me.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I pulled it out. Will’s name lit up the screen.
“Perfect timing,” I muttered to myself before answering. “What’s up? I thought you were going radio silent for the week.”
“Olivia texted me. What’s going on?”
“Goddamnit. She didn’t give me five minutes before ratting me out, huh?”
Will was silent a minute, but I heard talking in the background.
“Don’t you have an empire to run, Will? Some numbers to crunch?”
“Thanks, Jia. I’ll be there in five,” he said before clearing his throat. “Yeah, I do, actually. With you two lovebirds out of my hair this week, I stacked my schedule with investor meetings so I could get ahead for once.”
“Glad to hear it. Now butt out. I can handle this.”
“Can you? Because Olivia doesn’t think you’re on board for this baby thing.”
I cursed under my breath and stood up so I could pace off this new frustration. “What exactly did she tell you?”
“That she doesn’t think you’re on board for this baby thing. It was a one line text. Do you need me to come down there and seal the deal myself?”
I stopped so hard I almost tipped over. “Fuck. No. If I see your face here, I will put on a beating on you that you’ll never fucking forget.”
I’d only come close to teaching Will a lesson with my fists once, and thankfully Liv came between us before I could. I’m not sure if we would have ever come to terms if I’d delivered justice the way I’d wanted to that night.
Will only laughed, and I heard the shuffling of papers on the other side of the phone. “Thought so. Okay, well, I figured I’d give you a heads up that she might be pissed.”
I rolled my eyes. “Thanks, I figured that out on my own.”
“All right, Casanova, one more thing and then you won’t hear from me again until you’re back in New York. Olivia deserves this trip. She hasn’t stopped moving since Amelia was born. I know all this was inspired by the baby idea, but you need to make this a time she won’t forget regardless. In a good way, of course.”
Just when I thought I couldn’t feel any worse, Will had successfully added an extra helping of guilt onto my shit show of a morning.
“Got it. Bye, Will.”
I hung up and stared at the closed bedroom door, fresh determination rushing through my veins.
You’re on vacation. Stop crying. Apologize. You’re being a bitch. On vacation.
I brushed my tears away and pawed through my suitcase for something to wear for the day. I still wasn’t sure why I’d flipped out on Ian and risked ruining our entire day. True enough, he’d given me an incredible orgasm in the shower last night. This apparently was my thanks to him for what I truly hoped was only the beginning of a passion-filled trip.
I sensed something was truly wrong though. Granted, we hadn’t talked all that much about getting pregnant before the trip. We’d been too busy getting things in order before leaving for a week. I figured he was on board after I’d brought it up and he agreed that we would try. Why belabor the point? It’s not like we lacked any chemistry in the bedroom. What more was there to discuss?
Then the door opened. Ian’s massive frame filled the door way. He was shirtless, his dark skin molded tightly to his sculpted muscles. Perfectly toned biceps. Deliciously defined abs that made me clench in places that sorely needed his attention. Then those eyes, light gray and now filled with worry over this stupid fight we were having.
“You didn’t let me apologize,” he said quietly.
I turned away, not knowing yet what to say. I pulled out a white linen dress and pink and blue paisley bikini to wear for the day. I should apologize too, but I had to know what was holding him back, if anything.
I heard the bed dip behind me. “You going to talk to me, Liv?”
I faced him, weighing my words a minute more. “I’m sorry too. I don’t want to fight with you. Not now, not ever really.”
“I feel the same way. So let’s not fight anymore.”
I stared down at the ivory swirls in the travertine under my bare feet. I should just spit it out. Say it and move on.
“If you’re not ready for this…to have a child with me…that’s okay. You can tell me. I just assumed—”
“That’s not it, Liv.”
I threw my hands up. “Then what it is it? I know you. I know us. There’s something you’re not telling me.”
“I—I don’t know.” He sighed and dragged his palm over his short brown hair.
I sat beside him and took his hand in mine, letting my question linger between us. He stared down between us, threading our fingers together slowly.
“I love you, Liv. When you got pregnant with Amelia, I thought we were over. But I came to my senses and realized I loved you more than some fairytale story that other people needed to live. I love Amelia more than my own life. I’d do anything for her. She’s my daughter now as much as she’s yours and Will’s. But after everything happening the way it did, I think I just convinced myself she was it for us. For three years, I never let myself believe that we could have a baby.”
Tears pooled in the corners of my eyes. “Ian, why didn’t you talk to me?”
“This all came up so fast. I haven’t been able to catch up with the gravity of it. I still can’t believe this is what you really want.”
I lifted to my knees and straddled him, cradling his face in my palms. “Ian. Listen to me. A day hasn’t gone by that I haven’t thought about this. Being pregnant with Amelia, watching her grow. Watching us grow as a family. Through every milestone, I imagined what it would be like to experience it with our baby. I just wanted to wait until the time was right for us.”
He blinked up at me, his gaze filled with love and longing. “So this isn’t just for me?”
“This is for all of us.” I leaned in to brush a kiss against his full lips. “And this week is for you and me. This is the fun part, remember?”
He smiled against me. “I should probably get on board with that, huh?”
I lifted my hips, bringing our bodies infinitesimally closer. “If you don’t soon, I’m probably going to lose my mind.”
When his hands went to the knot on my robe, I thought I might cry from sheer relief. I needed this… I’d thought of little else for weeks. I’d been preoccupied with more than lusty fantasies. I craved what this meant for us, the sealing of our relationship with an unbreakable bond. A child made from our love.
He pushed the robe past my shoulders, letting it glide to the floor. He raked me over with his gaze and shook his head slightly. “God help me, I don’t think there will ever be a day when you don’t take my breath away.”
I’d surrendered my body and my heart to him years ago. Still, heat warmed my cheeks and bloomed across my chest. I trailed my fingertips across his ripped torso in mutual appreciation.
“I think the same thing every single day. I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”
Warmth glittered in his eyes. As our lips met again, he flipped us, covering my naked body with his. The combination of his heat and the pressure of his weight against me had me dizzy with need in seconds. He swept his tongue into my mouth with a hungry growl. I met his fervor, pushing down the waistband of his workout shorts until he was bare too—hard and hot against my belly.
I slid my hands over his hard, muscled ass. Hitching my thighs over his hips, I clutched him closer and tighter to me. We tasted and took, claiming each other one ravenous grasp after the next. All the while his hips met mine in an eager rhythm, as if we were already joined in the most intimate way.
“Now,” I begged. “Please, Ian. Make love to me. I have to feel you…”
The anxious rhythm between us slowed when he notched the head of his cock against me and pushed in deep. The men in my life were handsomely endowed, and I sucked in a sharp breath at being filled so quickly and completely.
Ian’s next thrust was no more forgiving, no less intense. My jaw fell as I cried out.
He caught my cheek, locking our gazes as he brought our bodies together, again and again. Slow…steady…hard…deep. Each thrust seemed punctuated with a message of possession. Something in his eyes seemed to say, This is mine.
Intense pleasure hummed right on the border of pain. The fine line between pleasurable fucking and complete rapture was blurring. I was trembling, on edge, ready for release after only a few minutes.
“Ian…I’m going to come. You can’t… I can’t stop.”
He never faltered, his gray-eyed gaze never wavering. “You’re going to come until I do, Liv. Over and over again. Then I’m going to get so fucking deep inside you.”
He went impossibly deeper, stealing my breath as he did.
“You’re going to come again. You’re going to scream for me.”
“Yes, yes, yessss,” was all I could manage before the orgasm hit full force.
I took a fistful of sheet as he pummeled hard and deep, joining our bodies in perfect rugged harmony. Stars lit up behind my eyes, so I pressed them shut and let the pleasure take me under.
“Oh God!” I screamed…trembled…tensed and clawed at him for more…
For all the fierceness of our union, I felt his love everywhere. I felt it in the smallest touches. The way our fingers tangled, the way we shared every breath, the way our moans became a secret language that guided us to new heights.
Reality bled away. Time was marked only by the next climax cresting on the horizon. The force of our lovemaking had pulled the sheets off half the bed. Our bodies were scorching and slick as we rocked together. This is what I’d wanted… This was everything I’d wanted.
“I love you,” he rasped against my ear. “So much.”
Somehow those three little words had the power to send me climbing toward climax once more. A familiar tension lined his jaw, and his gaze had gone molten. I held his heated stare, desperate to see him let go.
“I love you too,” I whispered, emotion suddenly thick in my throat.
Inside the tornado of sensation ripping through me, I could feel my heart swell and beat for all the love I held for this man.
He squeezed his eyes closed and slammed his hips against me one last time. There he stilled, pulsing and warm, owning my body and my heart.
The chaos of Christmas morning had died down. Amelia sat beside me, waiting for me to make the next move on her new Operation game. Her brown hair fell in soft, curly wisps around her rosy cheeks. Her eyes were wide and full of seemingly endless energy. I still had a hard time believing we’d have double the trouble by this time next year.
“I need one of you to get the turkey out for me!”
Liv shouted from the kitchen as I went for the femur, knocking my metal tweezers against the edge. Buzz.
“Damnit,” Amelia parroted.
Ian raised his eyebrows at me from his spot on the floor. We both looked toward the kitchen where Liv buzzed around, blissfully unaware of Amelia’s early education in the art of cussing.
“You almost ready to start decorating, Amelia?”
Amelia’s attention instantly shifted to Ian. “Is it ready, Daddy?” She bounced a half dozen times on the couch, jostling the poor patient’s bones around the game.
Ian laughed and tossed aside the ridiculously thick assembly pamphlet for a monster doll house that we’d given her on behalf of Santa this year. “I think so. Come check it out.”
Amelia scrambled off the couch to join him. Together, they began placing the furniture in the different rooms while she rattled on about which ones her dolls would be living in and why. I don’t think Amelia had drawn breath between sentences for at least eighteen months. Another little girl in the house and we would be officially outnumbered.
I released a tired but happy sigh and rose to help Liv. She was reaching for the oven mitts which were just out of reach in a higher cabinet. I nudged her aside and grabbed them for her.
“Why don’t you go sit down with Amelia and let me take over for a while. You should get off your feet.”
She put her hands on her hips with a huff. “Everyone’s going to be here in a couple hours. If I screw this up, Cam won’t let me host anymore.”
I chuckled. “Oh, horrors.”
She slapped me on the chest and tried to push past me, but I brought her into my arms. “Where are you running off to?”
“I have a million things to do, and you are not helping one bit.”
I bent and kissed her, enjoying the taste of egg nog on her lips. “I told you, I’m taking over. Now that we’ve completed the transition of power, I’m taking this opportunity to kiss you.”
She rolled her eyes with a sigh, but the grin tugging at her lips gave her away. I took advantage of the moment and lowered once more, seeking more of her delicious mouth. She melted into me.
I pulled away to see her wide-eyed.
“The baby kicked.” She grabbed my hand and placed it under hers, pressing hard against the place where she’d felt movement.
My broad smile met Liv’s when the baby’s elbow or heel or something nudged my palm.
“That never gets old,” I said, waiting for the next little touch. I caressed the bulge of her swollen belly with my other hand.
Of course, I loved Liv in any state. But she positively glowed when she was pregnant. She was full and feisty and she loved us all the harder. I gazed into her bright blue eyes, speechless with the wonder of it all.
“What?” She smiled up at me. “What are you thinking?”
“You’re amazingly beautiful right now. In this moment, I’m convinced you should be pregnant all the time.”
She laughed and the smile met her eyes. “You’re funny.”
“I’m not joking. How about two more? Is that too much to ask?”
She rolled her eyes again and patted me on the arm. “We’ll see how you feel when we’re up all night with a newborn again. Then I’ll think about.”
Before she could skirt away again, I caught her against me and planted a kiss on her lips that left no question that I wanted at least two more.
And until then, no one was more blessed than the three of us were…
* * *
* * *
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